menage a trois

it's surreal

we're alone on the loveseat
you're hands are on me
you're kissing me
softly but with the intensity I've come to expect from you

I want you
fuck, I want you
but we're not alone

you ask me if I want this
if I want to do this
with you
with him
that I don't have to
and I don't know what to tell you

yes
no

I can feel his presence here
somewhere
but my eyes are closed

you're gentle with me
but so eager
how do I say no?
do I even want to?

I climb into your lap
my knees straddle your thighs
you kiss me deeply
you run your hands through my hair
and when we break
and I turn
there he is
and he kisses me
softly
his hands enter my hair
as yours drop to my waist
he kisses my lips
as you kiss my stomach

surreal

time stops

and then I am standing
he is holding my hand
leading me to the bedroom
you are holding my other hand
following me
I look to him
I look to you

surreal
wispy fragments of time and air and space whirl around my forehead

in the moment it takes me to climb onto the bed
you are both half undressed

I'm so nervous

yes
no

but I keep looking at you
and you keep whispering sweet things to me
and I feel very safe and very desirable
I'm flushed with heat
I'm kneeling in the middle of his bed
you come to me
touch my face
look at me with love and longing
and you kiss me as you caress my hair
and then I feel
him
behind me
and I lean back
I feel like I'm falling
and he braces and embraces me
hands on my shoulders
my back
breath on my neck
soft kisses on my lips and skin
front and back
caresses by infinite numbers of hands and lips
warmth
heat
surrounded by men

surreal

and somehow I am undressed
my naked skin feels vulnerable
tiny terror rises in my throat
but I see your eyes
and your smile
I hear your quiet assurances
and I feel safe again
and feel the heat rise in my skin
as you gently lay me down on my back
and slowly part my legs
I can feel your breath
your tongue
I can hear you tell him how wonderful I am
extoling my virtues
telling him how you worship my body
but I'm lost in the sensation of many hands
and tongues
and breath

surreal

I throw my arm over my eyes
shut out one of my overwhelmed senses
I've lost which touch is you
which touch is him
you're both so careful with me
like I might break
so committed to my complete pleasure
I feel spoiled
decadent
wicked
and I know this is only the beginning